Who Cut Down the Cherry Tree?
"George?"
"Yes, father."
"George, I have a serious question to ask you, and I want you to promise you'll answer truthfully. Will you?"
"Yes, father."
"Good. Now George, did you cut down the cherry tree?"
"No, father."
"You're quite sure?
"Yes, father."
"Well, I'm disappointed in you, George."
"Why, father?"
"Because 12 people saw you cut down the cherry tree with your little hatchet."
"Oh??"
"In view of that, would you like to change your previous answer, George?"
"No, father. I believe the answer I gave you was legally acurate."
"You still insist you were telling the truth?"
"In my own mind I was telling you the truth, father."
"What the (...... deleted because of explicit content) is that supposed to mean?
"Well, you asked me if I had 'cut' down the tree. In my mind, it seemed to me that 'cutting' is something that one does with a knife or a sickle. In my mind it seemed that, since I used my little hatcher, the relationship I had with the tree, while perhaps inappropriate, was not a 'cutting' relationship. I would call it a chopping relationship."
"George, I'll give yo another chance. Listen very carefully. Did you chop down my cherry tree?"
"No, father."
"No? No? Why do you say no?"
"Because, father, I cannot tell a lie. And in my mind I did not chop 'down' your cherry tree."
"Well, what did you do then?"
"I chopped it into two pieces, and one fell to the ground."
"So you chopped it down."
"No, father, I merely chopped it. I did not cause the piece to fall down. The force of gravity caused it to fall down. Were it not for the force of gravity, over which I have absolutely no control, the tree, though segmented, would presumably be up, not down."
"George, I'm losing my patience with you. But I'm going to give yo one last chance to tell the truth. Did you take your little hatchet and chop my cherry tree, which action on your part, combined with the force of gravity, caused the tree to fall down?"
"No, father."
"NO? NO? IT'S STILL NO? HOW CAN YOU STILL SAY NO?"
"I will still say no because of my regard for the truth. What is the object at which I am ponting with my little child' finger, father? It's the stump of the cherry tree you cut down. And isn't the stump part of the tree, father?"
"It is."
"In fact isn't the stump the most important part of the tree, father, since without the stump, there would be no tree?"
"Hmmmm."
"Yet the stump is still standing. So when you asked me if I had chopped down the tree, my own mind said to me, 'George, you must tell the truth, and the truthful answer is no. You chopped, gravity caused part of the tree to fall, yet the most important part of the tree is still standing.'"
"I see...."
"All I can suppose, father, is that those 12 people whose exaggerated claims allege they saw me cut down the entire 'tree' were motivated not by a search for the truth, but by some personal vendetta against me, perhaps because I am from Virginia."
"George, you're a real crafty (.....again deleted because of explicit language)!"
"Thank you, father."
"Have you thought about what you want to be when you grow up?"
"Yes, father. If they ever build a White House in the new capitol, I would like to occupy it as the first White House lawyer."