Divorce, Marriage, the Christian, and Remarriage

Denominations have discussed this serious problem and many have tried to have a policy based upon sound doctrine whereas others have had no concern for sound doctrine while others just wanted to have their people feel free to stay in that particular denomination. Man and manmade religion has always messed the world up, and the devil just sits back and klaughs as so many draw the wrong conclusions because of all the confusion. The Scripture must be the basis from all our sources and not man's opinion to form a solid foundation for doctrine. Scripure must always be used in context and adressing the problems at had so as to apply those contextual points correctly and thus produce sound doctrine. Anything less than this is ridiculous as it hurts people and allows ourselves to be tried by the cruel world not to mention the tests that the Lord brings to show our doctrine to be faulty. With all this said, I also want to bring out what most would say is a critical point, that is that I am divorced and remarried which will automatically void all that I say for some. However let it be known that because I spent many years arriving at the understanding that I have which I will stand corrected, but I feel strongly based upon a solid exegesis of Scripture, this teaching is solid.

The first passage to understand is one that is based upon what God wrote and gave to Moses, and who would have a better understanding of what God meant when He wrote to Moses than God in the flesh, Jesus! Being tested one day by those Pharisees of total misunderstanding and professional Scripture twisters, Jesus revealed some very beautiful truthes about a critical part of the Mosaic Law.

Matthew 19:3 -9

¶ The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.


Yashua should know what he meant when he gave to Moses the Law, and the understanding of that Law is certainly what we need to see the beginning of a balanced understanding of divorce. Jesus is tested by the Pharisees and we will see the reason for the tests and the attitudes as well as the correctly applied Scripture. The Pharisees wanted Jesus out of the way, He cramped their style and their little kingdoms, so they were constantly testing Him attempting to place Him in between the Romans and their laws to discredit Him, yet the hard place was their attempt to cause Him to discredit Himself by speaking falsely against the scriptures, thus the provernial rock and a hard place vise. If Jesus speaks to divorce for any reason or every cause in a way that allows them to discredit Him, they will have fulfilled their mission of destruction. The Romans had no care for women as they were mere baby producers and this mentality had dramatically affected the 1st century and Pharisaic thinking so much that women were not treated with much respect. If the wife was the cook and burnt the bacon, then she was divorced. However if Jesus confirmed their thinking, then they would discredit Him for His lack of understanding about God's Word and thus could not be the Messiah. Now the context is set, the test is given, and we will see what Yashua says He meant in the Law.

Matthew 19:4

And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,


Jesus lays a foundation of understanding for divorce, and He shows the Pharisees that He has taken into consideration the "volume" of the Book for His doctrine whereas they have only taken their own opinion and that of the world. Jesus says Have ye not read meaning that He sees a passage of scripture that they needed reminding was actually there, no different than today and ourselves. We need to take all of Scripture in context and not eliminate nor twist some and arrive at a distorted view of the Word just like the Pharisees. They do this maliciously and not ignorantly as many of us do, yet there are also many of us who are just like the malicious Pharisees who want the money, the fame, and the kingdom now.

The foundation of the world is built upon the family unit that begins with two people, the man and the woman, not as Vermont may have us believe because they have been paid off by the Gay Lesbian Association. The marriage is made up of a man and a woman. He which made them at the beginning made them male and female, which can not be understood any other way except man and woman are the procreative forces for the replenishing of the earth, not man and man neither woman and woman. Any other conclusion is compromise and sinful, and Jesus shows clearly that the family unit begins with husband and wife. The next thing this passage reinforces is the shared importance in the family unit. There can be no children except the two come together and procreate, the woman can't do it alone and neither can the man. Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. Of these parts of the Adamic covenant, the husband and wife are key to its practicality and fulfillment. There is no fruitfulness in sin and sin's leagues as in woman to woman or man to man. The man and the woman are co-workers in God's vineyard, co-participants in child rearing, the woman is equally important in the marriage which is something the Pharisees did not accept or want to hear.

Matthew 19:5

And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?


Now we have some very special details that we should all pay attention to and adhere to that concern marriage because this is the basis of marriage surviving in the blessed position ordained by Almighty God. To see For this cause as marriage, the cause is marriage, to live in the state of matrimony, one must first understand a specific detail about God. First and most important is our God being perfect and without error, never changing throughout the time He has always been and throughout eternity, perfect in every way. God has ordained marriage, and for the cause of marriage a man leaves his mom and dad, he doesn't bring his parents to live with him and tend to his needs, but he leaves his parents to start another home, a new home with his wife and soon to become family. The man and the woman come together in a God ordained marriage, an institution that has responsibility and accountability, respect and love, and equality and purity. The purpose of marriage is a relationship that is built upon truth and integrity and trust, blessed by the Almighty because the Almighty who knows all and certainly has a vested interest in the earth as He has given charge to His creation, so He calls a man and a woman together for the purpose of marriage to procreate and fill the earth with adoration of Him, songs of praise as they subdue it and make the family an environment that will raise His children in His will, not with parents doing the raising as in grandparents, but as the two who have become one flesh and seeking to obey the beauty of God's will in their lives.

Matthew 19:6

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.


When God calls a man because he has ordained his marriage to a woman He calls, and He places them together so that they may discover the spark between them, the fire that will kindle a life long union of one flesh, God doesn't want man to destroy that precious marriage. God doesn't make mistakes, He is perfect and if He has been allowed to put the man and the woman together, then the marriage will blossom and grow into a fruitfull relationship, and the family unit will be what He has ordained taking charge of this world for His glory. The problems that we run into seem to hinder if not hide the truth of God's Word in marriage as they are severed and divorced for so many reasons that it is not even a subject that can be joked about. When God is in something He is in it for the longhaul, the race finish line, He wants the marriage to be His will because He called each person and ordained and blessed the marriage as covenant vows were made before Him. When God places together a man and woman into a marriage, He does not want any man to divide that marriage, What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. The Pharisees would rid themselves of the wife for any reason as long as it was handed on a piece of paper to the woman. They were about to show their heart's attitudes about marriage.

For the Christian marriage where both are Christians, there can be no divorce because the Christian must admit that they have a hard heart to get a divorce, they must show they don't trust God, they don't believ His Word, and that they lied in their vows to their spouse, and sadly the divorce rate is a bit higher in the church world than it is in the world at large. Christians like to justify themselves so they can have what they want without any effort whatsoever, and divorce is no exception. Yet God doesn't make junk, His will is perfect, so when He places two of His kids together for marriage, He doesn't make a mistake. If we would look at the Christian in marriage the way God does, we would see the blessing of stabilization when the trying times hits the marriage and they will. In the time of midlife when so many use the excuse that they must sow some oats because their bodies demand it, if such a thought comes into mind that the secretary looks good and my wife doesn't, I can trust the Lord knew what He was doing, and the thoughts can be confirming that my emotions have caused me to see things incorrectly. I can at these times draw strength from the knowledge that God placed us together and use that knowledge to reveal my erring thoughts. Too many Christians fall because the flesh allowed them to see things incorrectly, and they had no basis of foundation because they allowed sin to deceive them until they were divorced. I have heard too many stories of professing Christians saying, "The Lord told me to divorce my wife and marry this godly woman." These are hard hearts and we will see that about the Pharisees as I have mentioned. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Matthew 19:7

They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?


Herein we see a clear attitude as the Pharisees ask Jesus why Moses' command word is used in the Law. The Pharisees see divorcing women as being doers of the Law. Rather than seek understanding, the Pharisees and society as a whole continued the world's degrading position of women as passed along from Babylon to Persia to Greece and to Rome who influenced the thoughts of the Jew until they were so close that there was no conceiveable difference. God hates divorce (Mal 2), and the Pharisees saw it as a way to serve their purpose. God''s will is not divorce (previous verse), but the Pharisees will was more important to maintain their little kingdoms. God never intended a family to experience divorce (verses 5-6), but the Pharisees saw divorce as answer to their many problems of the flesh. Remember that God ordained marriage, and the Pharisees from the beginning hoped to trap Yashua to discredit Him with this test of divorce. These leaders of Israel surely were hard hearted, this can't be denied, so the reasons they used behind their tests, their attitudes, these should be eye openers for us today as we fall into the same pitfalls.

Matthew 19:8

He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.


There are two people in the marriage which Jesus has established, a man and a woman. The marriage is ordained by God, the spouses chosen by God, and the covenant made before God. Yet in a marriage if one decided to stop communication, then both do not communicate no matter what the intent and action is from the one who is not hard hearted. The result of a hard heart in a marriage may and most of the time does produce another hard heart, and the results will be divorce. It is from this understanding that Paul wrote Chapter 7 in 1st Corinthians. This is the main reason that I demand people to sit down with a genuine intent to be counseled and share the details of marriage before marriage with me before I agree to marry them. I can't see why so many preachers marry people so quickly absent of any Word of God and absolutely no understanding as to what marriage means, the bombs that come its way, the attitudes of people at certain times in their lives, and when you throw in the devil with his demons the marriage has enough stress that without God it can not stand anyway. God hates divorce, but He knows that in time a person in the marriage may have a hard heart and walk away from the marriage or at the very least make the marriage miserable, so He has grace and mercy for the one who is receiving this hard hearted action. He wants the receiver to have His strength to believe that He can change the other heart, and the solution isn't divorce. God's solution is reconciliation and then restoration in that order.

A divorce may consist of one spouse with a hard heart and the other not being at fault. A divorce may consist of both parties having hard hearts. Divorce must be seen as God sees it, sin, yet the parties of the divorce may not be sinful in their actions in the divorce. The church world has developed all types of policies and teaching, some strain the Word of God, some swallow a camel and strain the gnat, some just don't have a clue to what any Scriptures says so their policy and teaching is non-existent. The policy then is applied to ordination so if a man has been divorced and remarried, then some say he is unqualified to be called by God while others allow anyone to have credentials. Some say they would rather err on the side of legalism rather than the other side of clear error, but the extremes despite some truth in them, are still in error. For the lay person, they are treated as barnacles on a ship or an open sore while the man called by God is treated as if there is no value, and God was wrong, and the last detail which is the most important, that divorce has no forgiveness in it or for it. Jesus doesn't see things this way, he has mercy for all concerned and he knows what He wrote and why He wrote it for Moses. Let's see what Jesus now reveals.

Matthew 19:9

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.


There is only one accetable and valid reason for divorce, adultery. However adultery does not mean that you MUST divorce because we still have forgiveness and reconciliation from the grace of God that can heal even a marriage that has had the bomb of adultery to explode in it. From a personal note, my first wife had many, many adulterous affairs in order to get me to change back to the drunk that the Lord had delivered me out of. I chose to stay with and folow my Lord Jesus, and so I was divorced. It wasn't until I was in the pulpit on a Sunday morning when I saw Elin walk into the room and the Lord spoke almost audibly to me and told me that she was my wife that I stopped listening to man made policy that was not based upon all Scripture, and i started to study the Scriptures because I couldn't see why God would tell me this when His Word said divorced people were scum. I truly had a problem and only a good understanding based on correctly exegeted Scripture would satisfy my need.

If the Pharisees divorces without the valid reason of adultery, it is sin and if he remarries it is also sin and adultery is perpetuated. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife clearly applies to the man. The same holds true for the woman who divorces her husband except for adultery, it is sin, and if she remarries it is a perpetuation of sin. And whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. This clearly speaks about the woman.

Divorce is not the end of the world, and certainly the Lord can use it to grow some of us up quickly. Divorce is no different than any other sin, there is the blood that washes white as snow. For the one who had no fault in the divorce, it can be trying when all around have been taught to treat you as a second class citizen. The grace of god is available for all of us, not just the non-divorced people. God forgives when there is repentance. Even the one who had the heart that was calloused, that one can repent. Divorce rips the soul apart as the two had been one, but God heals and forgives. Too many for whatever reasons have made the loss of people in the church a reality as they allowed no forgiveness despite their words that they did forgive. Denominations have taught too long against divorced people. However, God says that adultery is the only reason that divorce is permitted despite God's will for marriage to be forever.

Now it is my belief based upon what I have gleaned from Scripture that when we have the Biblical reason for divorce, we also have the Biblical reason for remarriage. God doesn't intend for man to live alone, and remarriage if it is ordained of God, that means counseling and Bible study before remarriage (Yes, I demanded of my pastor to do this very thing.), then remarriage is also Biblical.