15 Actual Announcements Taken From Church Bulletins

1. Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

2. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

7. Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

8. Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, "Put me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.

9. Thursday at 5:00 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.

10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.

11. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

12. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.

13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

· Ushers will eat latecomers.

· Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

· The third verse of "Blessed Assurance" will be sung without musical accomplishment.

· Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

· The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning. · Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

· Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

· "Wise Up, O Men of God"

· Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

· The peace-making meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

· The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight:

Searching for Jesus.

· Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

· The agenda was adopted ... the minutes were approved ... the financial secretary gave a grief report.

· Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

· The "Over 60’s Choir" will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.

· Missionary from Africa speaking at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Name: Bertha Belch. Announcement: "Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."

· Announcement in a church bulletin for a National Prayer & Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."



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